who stole my magic?

i'm heartbroken, now what?

after 4 sleepless nights, 3 nights of getting wasted, sobs and tears, self pity and shame, what now?

i know it's happened to almost everyone-a breakup but still it's seemingly impossible to recover from.

either it's just two months or five years too long, everybody undergoes:

• The constant questioning, "Why? Why? Why?"
• The every hour, on-the-hour sobfest until your tear ducts run dry
• The urge to call him at three in the morning
• The urge to call him and say nothing (you just want to hear his voice...sob!)
• The urge to call him names
• The zero-energy days (or weeks, or months) when you just want to stay in bed and listen to senti music
• The Depression Diet where you can't eat anything (or, worse, all you can eat is ice cream)
• The absolute loss of self-esteem when you begin to think that he stopped loving you/cheated on you/changed his mind about being with you because you put on some weight/acquired wrinkles/lost your sense of humor/ are ugly.

i wanted to hate, i wanted to curse, i wanted to wish that we didnt meet- so that i can get over more quickly.

i was able to ponder what could have really happened. my friends would say that you fooled me. my bestfriend said you left because you got already what you wanted. maybe they are right...

but part of me still want to believe in you and believe the promised of love that we shared
- temporary madness. i dont want to turn the wonderful memories we shared into a nightmare. i dont want to turn the sunny summer we shared into a gloomy past. the song "i love you more today than yesterday" should not be on our soundtrack. "'til supply last" would be a good tag. and it did last and it last too soon.