In search of a sweeter song

My trembling fingers tightened around my cellphone, and I choked back the sob that threatened to explode from my tightening lungs. There was a long, awkward pause as he waited for me to text back. My only consolation was that he could not see my pale face. I would never have been able to hide my devastated expression had he been in the room with me now on this heart-wrenching moment.

The nightmare had come true... again. What had started out as a harmless, fun, wonderful relationship had slowly become a complicated entanglement of emotion and passion, only to end abruptly now that the fire had faced. The cutting pain that ruthlessly squeezed my heart was so intense I could scarcely breathe.

It was over. Once again, I was in for a sleepless night of agony, hours of weeping until no more tears would come. Once again, I would have to face the aching, desperate loneliness of walking into a crowded room full of strangers -- with no hand to hold, no strong arm to gently rest on my back and give me security. Once again, I am alone.

I had made incredible sacrifices in an attempt to somehow cling to every short-live dating relationship that came my way. Even if I was the one who ended the relationship, the heartbreaking pain was inevitable. It felt like something precious was being violently ripped from inside of me.

How many years had I longed and urgently searched for true love? How many nights had I laid awake, dreaming of a beautiful roman- a lasting relationship that wouldn't end in heartache?
I yearned to be loved and cherished. I had dreamed of a perfect love story for my entire life. But somewhere in the midst of the endless cycle of one temporary romance after the next, my dreams had shattered right along with the broken and fragmented pieces of my heart.